Christmas Cookies Gone Wrong
by PeridotTea91
Summary: Christmas Gone Wrong Challenge prompt: "Baking Christmas Cookies." Based on an actual mishap that I had when trying a cookie recipe f/ Pinterest (though the reasons behind mine are still a mystery). Platonic!Sam/Reader; Platonic!Dean/Reader


It was Christmastime at the bunker, and Greer was feeling festive. She scrolled further down the page on her phone, reading the next steps of the cookie recipe. Greer had been feeling in the holiday spirit and tried looking up some holiday cookie recipes on Pinterest. After an hour or so of searching, she had decided to do a twist on the classic homemade chocolate chip cookie as her first attempt at freehand baking in years. The recipe had gotten rave reviews online, so you figured it was a safe place to start. Plus, the Winchesters were men of simple pleasures; there was no way those two would be able to resist a childhood classic, even if it was dressed up a bit.

Finally adding in the Hershey's peppermint chocolate morsels, Greer gave the cookies a proper mixing and scooped them out onto the baking sheet. She was excited to see how they would turn out but more excited to see what Sam and Dean thought. Sliding the cookies in the oven and setting the timer on her phone, Greer headed out to the library. Sam and Dean were already out there, Sam on his laptop researching while Dean played on his phone. It wasn't until she was right up next to Sam that they even noticed she had come in.

"You two look like you're having fun," Greer chided as she leaned against the table.

"Hey, Greer. Just looking for a case. What have you been up to?" Sam asked, pushing his laptop away slightly.

"Baking. Decided to try out a cookie recipe I saw online."

"Cookies?" Dean's interest suddenly piqued.

"Yes, Dean. Homemade peppermint chocolate chip cookies," she smiled warmly.

"What's the occasion?" Sam asked.

"None really. Just had the itch to bake, ya know?" Greer said with a shrug. "I used to bake all the time but got so caught up in hunting that I kinda grew outta it. Plus, it's hard to bake things when you're on the road all the time."

"I hear that," Dean agreed, "So when do we get to try these homemade cookies?"

Greer checked her phone, "In only ten minutes. The good thing about cookies is that they never take too long to bake. Especially if you make them nice and chewy."

"Yessssss…"

"Careful, Greer, you might have to hide them from the human garbage disposal. Dean is a fiend for desserts." Sam nodded towards his brother, earning him a scowl from the older Winchester.

"Oh, you don't have to tell me twice. I've seen him eat," she laughed.

"Bite me."

* * *

Ten minutes flew by quick. When her phone's timer went off, Greer had to order Dean to stay put until she told him the cookies were ready. Dean pouted in his seat like a petulant child, causing Sam to chuckle at his displeasure. Eager to see how the recipe turned out, Greer scurried back to the kitchen to get the baked goods from the oven. However, the second she opened the oven door, she knew something was horribly wrong. Instead of the sweet, delicious smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies, she was greeted with the pungent smell of gasoline and burnt peppermint. Yet the cookies looked absolutely perfect.

Greer didn't understand it. She followed the recipe to-a-T, so what went wrong? Picking up one of the rapidly cooling cookies, she gave it a sniff and were immediately repulsed. This was a damn nightmare!

"So, cookies?" Dean popped his head around the corner. Of course, he wouldn't wait; Dean Winchester had to be the most impatient man on the planet.

"Uhhhh…"

"Should I be worried that you don't—what the _hell_ is that smell!?" Dean had only taken a few steps into the bunker's kitchen when the disgusting smell of the ruined cookies hit him. Greer nervously glanced over at the cookies. A moment later, Sam came strolling in too and, before she could warn him, was also hit with the awful smell.

"Oh my god. Greer what—ahem—what did you do!?" Sam coughed out as he waved a hand in front of his face.

"I don't know!? I followed the recipe _exactly_! It had so many great reviews! I don't—" she exclaimed, running her fingers through her hair. She couldn't figure out what went wrong. Baking was an exact science; stray even a fragment from the recipe and the mixture changes completely.

Sam had gone over to the counter where the ingredients were still sitting out. Greer had intended to do an experimental batch and then, if they turned out well, to make a bunch for fellow hunters. Sam started inspecting the flour, butter, and vanilla extract. He didn't bother with the veggie oil because he had been at the store with her when she bought it just last week. Everything he inspected passed the smell test and was up-to-date.

"Everything checks out," Sam finally conceded as he placed the oil back on the counter. "Maybe it's the oven?"

"Maybe? Hmm…. DEAN! Taste one!" Greer demanded, holding out a cookie.

"Oh, _hell_ no! I have not survived an apocalypse and purgatory just to be taken out but a bad-smelling cookie!"

"Oh c'mon! If it's the oven, then the cookie should still taste fine, right? Besides, you've been brought back from the dead how many times now? We'll just have Cas heal you if it makes you sick!"

"Fuck that! I'm not taking that risk just because you don't know how to cook!" Dean snapped.

"I know how to cook dammit!" She stomped your foot in defiance.

Sam attempted to soothe the situation, but only ended up making you angrier, "Look, why don't we just toss this batch and try again? If we go over it together, we won't be able to mess it up right?"

"I did _not_ mess up the recipe, Sam!" With that, Greer stormed out of the bunker's kitchen.

Sam and Dean were left in her wake, staring at the mess she left behind in an attempt to bake holiday cookies. Dean, however, quickly bolted out of the kitchen as well, leaving Sam to clean up. Letting out a sigh, the younger Winchester began to tidy up. He hoped that, after being given some time to cool off, she would be willing to try again. Putting the dry ingredients away in the pantry, Sam noticed a second container of oil and got curious. Taking the bottle down, he noticed that the label was barely attached, a small piece of tape keeping it in place. Picking up the bottle of vegetable oil Greer had used, he noticed it's label was the same. Opening the cap, Sam gave it a whiff and coughed; it was pungent and smelled almost like petrol.

Suddenly, everything clicked together—Dean had swapped the labels of the vegetable oil and expired canola oil as a prank and forgot about it.


End file.
